I don't want to feel unwanted and unloved anymore. I know it is not true, but then I always feel alone. When I'm hurting inside like I am now, I just want to let go . . . to give up. Why must I have this pain? Why must my heart weigh with such heaviness and I not know why? I'm tired of my bipolar making this worse. Turning little things into heart wrenching pain and anguish. All I can do is suffer is silence, cry when no-one is looking. I can't fight this battle anymore. I can't struggle to love unconditionally when I am being pushed away. In my head I know what is right, what should be. I just can make it feel true. I can't keep going on like this. I am ready to shatter . . .