I'm embarrassed by my behavior which caused my to lose my friend last night. I wish I could just be a normal person with normal emotions. I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of living a life which really isn't a life but merely an existence--I simply exist to hold down a job and pay bills. I feel like there are very few, if any, things which make me happy and drive me anymore. I have two little cats who make me happy but that's about it.