I have the same problem and for some reason have always tried to validate who I was by what and who I made happy. Anytime I made a mistake 5 things went wrong, not just one and it seemed by the time I got that messed cleared up I (me) would start the process all over again. I'm so glad you shared your story with us. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Expression of your emotions can only lead to a chance that you didn't have before.