Grief is highly individual. Some people feel it right away and others don't. There is no set time. When it surfaces, it helps to have someone to talk to, because a lot of different emotions can surface.

You are not crazy for appearing "normal" the day after. Some people don't cry at funerals or reveal their feelings much to others. There is nothing wrong with that. We are all different.

I know what it feels like to suddenly lose a good friend, too. He seemed fine, when we last spoke, so it was hard for me to believe the news. Initially, I felt disbelief. Then, I did not feel anything. I did not even cry at his funeral. Around eighteen months later, I realized he was gone and would never come back. This is when my feelings of sadness and guilt surfaced.

Like Leed, I was an emotional mess, because of our last conversation. He asked me out and told me he loved me. I turned him down, since I did not feel the same way. Four days later, he died of a heart attack. Hearing this was proof, I broke his heart. In reality, I did not kill him. He refused to ignore the warning signs and go to the hospital.

Remember, you are not responsible, no matter what anyone says.

Take care.