I have no idea where to post this because it involves a ton of different things.

1. I started taking a new med for sleep that leaves me feeling very hungover. I only took half the dose last night, ended up sleeping terribly, laid in bed till almost noon, still felt hungover all day. I am trying something different tonight and want to take a bunch and just go to bed but it's too early and of course I will only take as many as prescribed.

2. I have been having suicidal ideation all day and the voice that says "You're going to have to do it someday..." is coming back again. I'm also struggling with wanting to hurt myself.

3. I went to a new practitioner who says I fall on the bipolar spectrum and this is very distressing to me for a lot of very personal reasons which I won't go into.

4. I'm already exhausted from working 60 hours last week.

5. I contacted my therapist yesterday about something that made me feel quite vulnerable and haven't heard back. I'm sure she's just out enjoying her weekend like a normal person but part of my insides are turning inside out over it.

6. I feel so anxious, I have racing thoughts, there is one line of a song running through my head over and over and over, I'm trying to just be still but I want to run but at the same time I feel exhausted from work and chronic sleep deprivation and well, anxiety. I hear chatter, like a million people at once all trying to talk to me in my head but I can't hear anything any of them are saying.

7. The meds are freaking me out; I took one a few nights ago for anxiety/sleep and it calmed me but I did not feel safe AT ALL. I felt anxious without my anxiety. I had to sleep with a knife under my pillow because I felt so panicky.

8. My husband asked to have sex today and I realized it is not a good day because I feel so anxious and triggered, so I requested that we take a rain check and plan on tomorrow instead. I can tell that he is frustrated with my symptoms today, he sighed loudly and I can tell by his body language that he is fed up.

I don't know what to do except wait for it to pass. Ideas?