I'm going to be calling some places tomorrow morning/afternoon, but I'm really looking forward to getting some help. It just really sucks that I've riddled with such extreme, overwhelming guilt. I really feel like I don't deserve anything. I contemplate life and not that I would ever commit suicide, I often think of it for the bad act that I've done. Which is silly to me, because I shouldn't be thinking of that. I won't be holding back when I talk to someone. Although I feel like myself sometimes - I really, really just want to be my normal self again and get these thoughts out of my head. I can't go throughout life like this.