Damn. Forgot computer was running on battery, and just lost whole post.
Will try to recoup the gist of it...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar
I'm not saying you're one or the other or both, but something you wrote jumped out at me I'd like to comment on:
rejection sensitivity and mood improving once getting into work or mingling with folk.
Keep in mind that 'rejection sensitivity' is actually a hallmark of BPD and I have read that some people with BPD do feel better when around others, as there can be an intolerance of aloneness.
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I learned this differently. Two terms that at first glance seem the same, but really aren't: "rejection sensitivity" and "fear of abandonment". Fear of abandonment is, of course, a big component of BPD.
Personal observation... Folks with BPD seem to
perceive negative intent/message a lot more often. They can see it as "reading between the lines". Even when there's no "between the lines" reading material, let alone negative meaning or ill intent intended on the part of the other. It's like an overly heightened vigilance for anything that might indicate abandonment. Often followed by frantic efforts to avoid it. A classic example is a text or message that doesn't get answered right away being taken as "not caring" or that they are cutting off contact, which is followed by a barrage of texts/calls seeking assurances. Those without BPD would most likely figure they were busy, no biggie, it's not personal. And believe it.
Then there is the pre-emptive abandonment reaction. Perceive imminent abandonment then dump them before they can dump you. Even if they never intended to.
One can be sensitive to rejection without extrapolating it into abandonment. Plain old hurt feelings. No fear of abandonment. No frantic efforts.
I've got BP. BF has BPD and I've been living with the day in/day out compare and contrast for almost 4 years now. Till it was figured out what was going on, his behavior often confused the hell out of me. Mood swings are common ground, but so many of the other parts are foreign to me. For instance...
Situational/interpersonal dynamics being key in mood shifts. Depressive mood
wouldn't come out of nowhere(!), it would be tied to something situational/interpersonal, and could change on a dime. (For me, they
do come out of nowhere. Situations can trigger or exacerbate, but just as likely I'll be fine while all hell is breaking loose or be thrown down the elevator shaft when everything's situationally fine.)
The roller coaster (along with chaos and drama) being a constant.
There is a
big BPD indicator which is: extremes of idealization/devaluation of others. There is no corresponding BP symptom.
(No one has to wonder where they stand with me from day to day. They may not know how
I'll be, but they don't need to worry about my view of them. It's consistent.)
The changing on a dime thing...I "get" rapid shifts, but struggle with understanding them in BPD because I don't "interpret" situational things through that lens. So, it's not unusual that I won't have a clue what tripped him off.
The suicidal threats and gestures. Do I get suicidal? Oooooh yeah. Been there. Lots. But I would never
threaten it and have no use for gestures.
(And in case you're wondering, yeah, being in a couple with one of each is
hard. But I love him dearly.)
Maybe someone already gave this link, but it's late, so forgive me for not re-reading to check. A concise overview right here on PC:
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-disorder-symptoms/ (And wow can I ever relate to being on the other side of the intense relationships paragraph!)
Heh. And while re-writing, your most recent post came through, ultramar. Yup, the article struck me the same way. A WTH roundup.