In my opinion it's an unhealthy desire, and one that should definitely be explored.

The reasons you stated serve your own needs and not that of your future children.

I have an autistic child. I see how much he struggles to succeed and interact with other children, and it is so hard for him. It's even harder when he has to deal with those that cannot accept him as he is, or don't understand his disability. I would never wish this on any child. Growing up can be hard enough without a disability making it exponentially harder.

So... Yes I think you should definitely look at these feelings much closer.

That being said, I applaud your honesty in expressing them.

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