My brother has a pretty textbook case of ODD, my parents have known for over 15 years now (he is 22), though it hasn't gotten any easier for them, they have learned tricks to keep them selves calm when he has a bought of anger or expects them to do something for him.

My mother has learned to pick and choose her battles with him. If he gets angry over something irrationally they try to ignore him. Walk away. However it is not always easy with a child ODD. It has been difficult to keep him in therapy or on any sort of meds because he feels there is nothing wrong. I wouldn't push it on your daughter, but maybe you could suggest she see someone to talk to, even if you say just to help relieve some stress or something.