There is nothing wrong about being upset over losing your independence. I lost mine for over 8 years and the thought of someone having complete control over me was scary. I am sorry for all you've been through and are about to go through. The only advice I can give is for you to see this is a temporary solution. Not that you should make plans for leaving your boyfriend. If you want to make a life with him then give it your best even though the future for him is uncertain. Hopefully he can see the need for you to make preparations if he does not survive. ( I hate saying that) I think your family is just scared for you. Anytime mine got upset with me it was because they wanted what was best for me and unless they are offering help, it's not their business and unconditional help is the best. The only time I've have failed is because I became stuck, overwhelmed with fear and afraid to make a decision. Ask a trusted friend for advice. I often times think I'm really smart cause I'm BP, but I remember a quote from one of my favorite movies, LOTR, Gandolf "Even the very wisest cannot see all ends" Hope you keep us updated.