If I was in Florida(which I sometimes am)I'd meet you, hold you tight, and let you cry until you're exhausted. I've been finding myself crying more and more over the past few weeks because, like you, I am so tired of dealing with this illness and giving my love to someone who doesn't understand me and has no desire to understand, as you know. But I go on fighting the good fight, because there's that little flame of hope within me, illuminating the darkness. I just know there's a better life and I'm not going to let anything stop me from finding my share of happiness.
Don't give in to the dark thoughts. Imagine the life you want and find the strength and courage to get it. There is ALWAYS a way. It might not be easy but you're stronger than you know.