Thanks for the responses. Im grateful for the support. To everyone who knows me, they don't think I'm insane or depressed. I have to put on a mask every day just to get through it. I feel as if every conversation with anyone is forced. I'd rather just be alone doing nothing. But who would choose that for themselves? I've been very lucky in my life and haven't dealt with much hardship... until this. Every moment of everyday I think about how I am an awful person who doesn't deserve to live. Then I just feel so shameful that I've failed my parents and my family. I go to work and just sit at my computer waiting for the day to end. It's a microcausm of my life - its like I'm just waiting for it to end. What kind of life is that? It isnt...