Avoidance is my middle name... I tend to back up from people who are not safe to me, if I can. Eventually there is just no contact. I don't think that's the healthy route but because it's always kept me safer to do that, it's hard to learn other ways of handling it.

On the other hand, family... well, that's a whole nother story because I can't seem to back away and can't seem to stand up.

Well, that doesn't seem at all helpful and I'm sorry for that. I've a long way to go in the healing process. Maybe your T has some healthy skills that you could learn to deal with your friend. I do wish you the best of luck with it.