Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa
How would I go about figuring that out? It's true that I am a bit of an (negative)attention-*****. I learned (from when I'm in the hospital) that the reason why I crave negative attention so much is because I used to be bullied when I was a kid. It's as if I expect to get the negative attention and my subconscious starts to think that there is something wrong with me when I don't get it. I only like negative attention -- never positive attention. In fact, I absolutely cringe in horror whenever someone points out something I did well or even just a matter of bringing something trivial about me (what I'm wearing, for example (giving a complimenting that)) center stage.
I've always preferred negative attention for some reason. Maybe it's because I subconsciously feel that I am entitled to negative attention (eg I deserve to be punished) but I don't deserve the positive attention (eg because I'm not worthwhile)?
Anyway the reason why I started this thread was because my boyfriend & I was discussing our having kids one day and yes he knows that I secretly long to have conjoined twins or kids who are disable in any other way. However I would not want my kids to have depression or bpd because I know how it feels and would not want my kids to go through what I go through. Anyway he was asking me why I would even want that, want our kids to get teased and live an uncomfortable and very hard existence. And I admit he was making sense. Which left me feeling even more confused and with the thought that maybe I am and have always been pretty sick. And again I wonder what is wrong with me. Why I so different from everyone else?
(sorry about the long rant. Once I keep going it's hard for me to stop sometimes)
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since recieving positive feedback and positive attention is not your thing then having sick/ill/ disabled children is not your thing...
one of the positive things that comes with having special needs children is that everyone ...teachers, doctors, therapists, you name it everyone who has any interaction with you and the special needs children will be handing out non stop positive praise, positive compliments and positive feed back to you and the children..
treatment and the raising of special needs children doesnt focus on negative feed back, negative attention and other negativities, special needs children need positive feed back , positive compliments and such in order to help them learn, thrive and grow.
take for instance you did have a child who has a physical disability maybe they dont exactly walk or talk like other normal children... their teachers are going to be meeting with you, complimenting you on helping the child to do their speech and physical therapy, at home you will be the role model for teaching this child how to speak. the physical therapist will be complimenting you for doing the hard job of following through with the childs treatments at home. and you will have to give lots of praises, compliments and p-ositive feed back to this child as they reach each mile stone in their abilities to over come their speech and physical disabilities...
no if positive feedback, compliments and such other positives are not something you are comfortable with then raising a special needs child that is sick/ill, disabled is not going to be something that you will be able to do..
but that only my opinion. if you really want to know what it takes look in your phone book under things like developmental disabilities, mental health programs for children, ARC, and big brother big sister programs and give them a call. they are always looking for volunteers. and your local social services office can tell you how to become a foster parent for special needs children.