It is difficult to handle for the person handle that has to see the scars and wounds. My wife mostly ignores them. She may be involved in the issues that lead me to wanting to do it, but it is not her fault I chose to handle it that way. It is difficult to stand back and watch, or try to help and get no where.

For me self harm is a way to cope when things get bad. To complicate matter, bad doesn't always have to be a big problem or an issue that should get me so down. It takes.a lot off effort and work to handle things an effective and healthy way, and sometimes those answer to our problems don't seem to come right away, leaving us feel hopeless.and out of control.

People self harm for a lot of reasons. She needs to figure out what it does for her.ninkean does she self harm to cope? Does she feel nothing and is trying to feel something, even if it is pain? Is it a form of self punishment. She feel like she deserves it?

That is something she needs to figure out. Once that is figured out, she can begin to develop better soltuions to fix the issues instead of relying on self harm. Finding out why is a difficult issue. When I am feeling that depressed that I want to self harm I am not in a good place to talk. I just want some relief from what I am feeling and that is all I can focus on.

Don't blame yourself for what she does. It is her choice on how she handles her issues and she is the one who chooses to self harm. It isnt fair that you have to walk on egg shells around her issues. You can be ginger about sensitive subjects but you should be able to voice your thoughts opinions and conerns without backlash.

I recommend a therapist for her. Ultimately it is her choice on how she handles things and you can't do a lot to change that, but show concern and try to help her as much as you are able.