My advice is . . . don't give up asking questions and trying.

There are all types of churches. Within specific denominations, individual churches may govern differently, depending on church elders, board members, etc. . . . some may be progressive and some more traditional. Just because one church doesn't open its arms open wide to you, doesn't mean all churches will do the same.

Have you tried discussing your issues online from one of these Christian Reformed websites? http://members.aol.com/mariostz/chri...ronic.html#top

Maybe you can find an advocate to assist you in the process of becoming a member of the church? The advocate could help educate the church leaders the nature of your disability. As a disability accommodation, you could be given more time.