nothemama8:

I agree, this does seem like a mixed message. I guess I'd ask the helper why he/she sent conflicting messages. For example, What exactly did you mean about being self-sufficant? Can you give me some examples of what I could do?

Why did you tell me that it is so hard to help yourself? Was that encouragement to work hard? Was it a suggestion to start with easy chages? Was it trying to prepare me for some failures?

I'm wondering if you are pretty sure I can't get far trying to help myself? Are you feeling discouraged that you have to do lots of things for me? How long do you feel we will need to continue the counseling? What should we be doing in therapy?

Those are the kinds of things I'd like to talk about, if I were you.

drclay