[quote=Leed;3109326]Jean, are you in therapy? If you're not, please ask your doc to refer you to a good therapist. And forgive me if I've asked you this before because I've got some brain damage and I can't rememeber stuff.

It drives me insane! ACK!
You really DO need to talk to a therapist sweetie. If you can't afford one, there are psychiatrists who will see patients on a "sliding scale" basis. It's based on ability to pay. You might have to call around to find one, but it's worth it.
Or, you can have your doctor put you on an antidepressant. There is nothing WRONG with that. I know that many people don't want to take medications, but why not? People take meds for diabetes, and depression is a recognized illness just like diabetes! The American Medical Assn. recognized Depression as an Illness!!! And not everyone has side effects from the medication either! Most side effects go away anyway! The medication works GREAT and does NOT change WHO YOU ARE!!! It just puts you back to "normal." That's ALL it does.
Thanks, Lee. I am in therapy and have been most of my adult life. It just never seems to "work". I seem to understand the help offered with my head, but my emotions and mood remain a very disturbed woman. I just feel like nothing can replace what you didn't get as a child. And then I think, these people know what they are doing, so I must not be trying hard enough. And I get scared that sooner or later they will give up on me. Thanks again.