Hey DM.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time.
Just know that even if you have the other person that you want or need to share with doesn't mean you have another person to share with at all....
Lonliness goes way beyond just having someone present. And it is a horrible thing for a homan to experience. Because, you know, people in our society try to downplay it, but humans require social interaction to thrive. And not just online Facebook or skype type stuff. But, real other humans around them. That's one thing our society really tries to destroy.
I'm sorry you lost your child.

It was so long ago but yet I see it still hurts you just by the fact you brought it up. It's okay to be sad about that.
Hang in there.