OP it comes down to this. You have these options.

1. Prostitutes/callgirls. You don't want that that's fine.
2. Sexual surrogate. Too expensive for you
3. Casual sex off the internet.
4. Hit on drunk girls at the bar.
5. Just keep trying your luck at the dating game.
6. Get some counselling
7. Maybe try one of those silly PUA courses.

Considering you don't want to do option 1, can't afford option 2, you don't seem to have the confidence for option 3 4 or 5. And option 7 may get you laid but you want more then just sex.

Your best bet would be to choose option 6. Because you say you want sex and you don't want to be a virgin, but as was mentioned by someone else, it seems like a more underlying problem. If it was purely about sex you can get that.

It's not just about sex though. You do come across as someone who maybe has self-esteem or lack confidence. A good psychotherapist or counsellor could help with that. If you're contemplating suicide over this then it's a concern and you need to find out more about yourself over why this whole thing is such a big issue for you.

I will say, it's your life and you can do what you want and choose to live how you want. But as things stand, it's not working out for you and things probably won't change unless you try something different. I think just going on dates and hoping to get sex and love with that isn't working and the way things are going it may never work.