I don't know how you could be in a good state of mind and be in a controlling relationship. I think to some extent relationships limit our freedoms and we have some type of accountability. I wouldn't come home drunk at 3 am and expect it to not he a big deal. But if it is too controlling it makes you feel less like you have rights or even that you are a person if you are controlled to the point where you question every action in response to how you think your partner will respond.

I don't think leaving to feel your need for self harm is wise. I would try to build some type of support system so you can he safe. As well as finding a home or place to go. Living on the streets may not be the ideal thing for mental health either.

Try to keep with your therapy and get yourself in a good place to handle it. Try to reason with your controlling partner and find some healthy ground.