Its hard living with depression, im 65 but in my head im 35 because of the years I have missed when in a never ending cycle of doom and gloom. The time in remmision is the only time I remember ,so hence the missing years, my wife say,s I don't want to remember has they were crazy times for her an my family . So keep pluging on there is something out there to put you in remission if only for a period of time till the next crash. life,s a ***** but its the only one we have.