Hello everyone. I don't know were to begin with this, there's so many facets. I'm Canadian and my husband is an American. We've lived here in the US for 10 years now and I haven't necessarily loved it but tolerated it to be with him. We've been married for 8 years now. He's been saying he wants to have a baby for years but until recently I wasn't emotionally ready and certainly didn't feel like we were financially ready either. I also don't want to have a baby here in the states. I want to be home with my family nearby for support and a better healthcare option in place. (Please don't answer this post with random spoutings of Obama care or America is better than Canada etc. I hear it all day every day from people and I'm quite tired of it) Anyway, after our most recent visit north my husband said he's ready to move up there. Since this vacation he's first been really snippy with me about not having started the application fast enough for his visa, then he's done nothing but complain about what he won't have once we move like certain wines or gourmet food (he works in a high end restaurant). I barely ever see him as it is, our work schedules don't match at all so when I do have time with him he spends it complaining or being overly sarcastic about getting his visa application done. Here's another messed up aspect, ready for it? My brother in law moved in with us in March and since then, as was to be expected we have had almost no sex or time alone together. Instead my husband and brother in law will go out and spend 150 on lunch together and then don't understand why I'm upset. If we're going to relocate to another country we need to clear debt and save money. We've talked about this and every time it goes out the other ear. Last night even we actually had some alone time together during which my husband complained and made sarcastic comments about the move, then declared he wanted sex. I had a pap smear scheduled today so that was a no go, which made him even more upset with me. I feel like at this point I'm just the budget/bill paying/cleaning machine who also happens to be good for a romp in the sheets. He claims he still wants to move to Canada but at this point I'm not sure I want him to come too. I still love him (at least I think I do) but never seeing him and having to deal more often with his brother (who I don't particularly get along with) instead has me at the point where I want to just disappear onto a train home without leaving a note or anything. The only thing holding me back is I don't want to hurt him. Don't know what I'm asking for here, maybe just an ear.