>> Can you be brutally honest with the people who owe.

I have been, and also sweet and to the point: I am in danger of losing my home if I can't dig some money up right now.

I know they are all personally strapped for cash which is why it was never an issue for me to worry about what they owed me. In the emails I sent out I asked if there was anyone else in their life or family that they could borrow money from and pay me back... that is sort of "transfer" that debt to them. It looks like that is not an option though, which right off the bat tells me a lot about the kind of person I am.

And making me question my fundamental roots of my personality. The giving and loaning isn't a problem in and of itself, because I never expected anything in return for that, for me giving is its own reward. Part of it is just that maybe I should have been taking care of myself all this time (although that money was loaned so long ago it wouldn't have helped me out now... in reality if these people could pay me back now it would be like "found money" which is exactly what I need right now) and the part I don't like is the bitterness, like if the universe isn't going to take care of me when I am down, why should I pump energy into it all my life?

I keep saying this, but the bitterness and lack of trust is going to be my absolute worst issue with regard to moving forward with this... in terms of reclaiming any sort of life that gives me joy to participate in... because that has always been so integral with the idea of trusting people and enjoying their company.

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--http://www.idexter.com