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This is a great question and something that comes up -in many different forms- a lot here.
For me, what has helped with this is therapy. Therapy has helped me to identify my emotions and why I am feeling them. Sounds simple enough, but as most of us know, I think, very difficult in practice. I'm far from an expert on this, but learning these skills has helped me immeasurably.
I think we, with bipolar, need to be very vigilant as to *why* we feel how we do at any given time. It may seem like something just dropped out the sky, but this may not be the case after all.
I suffer from anxiety and PTSD. It's not so much the symptoms of these vs bipolar that help me distinguish between them (though that's part of it), but what precipitates the symptoms. I know what makes me anxious, I know what triggers my PTSD (sometimes it's something new, but makes sense given my history) and when such things are going on in my life at a given time I can be reasonably sure that that is what's going on.
When I'm very anxious, I can get agitated, lose sleep, get irritable, hyper, etc. When it's seriously PTSD/past experience-related, I can get suspicious of people, though in a different way and not as strongly as the paranoia I can get with mania. As you can see, all of this could easily be confused with hypomania. Also, sometimes when I'm anxious, especially past-experience-related, I can get sad and teary at the same time, which can seem like a mixed episode. So how does one distinguish between the two? I realize that something has triggered the anxiety and/or has triggered the PTSD. If I really look at what's going on in my life at that point in time, when and how it started, if there are 'triggers' going on, I know it's anxiety/PTSD, despite the apparent similarity of 'symptoms.'
Aside from such triggers, anxiety and hypo/mania just feel very different to me. It's not that I feel 'in control' when I'm very anxious, but when I'm manic I feel like I've been taken over. And if I really look into it, no one said anything to me, I didn't have any interaction that caused this or has upset me in any way. It's not an isolated issue with my family or a boyfriend or work, and those same things also do not make it better (my trigger is usually lack of sleep over a period of time, of course this is different with everyone). It starts and then takes on a life of its own. It continues on getting faster and faster, taking on a life of its own, like a train without brakes, and nothing can stop that train (no one, no matter how wonderful they are with me) except a big fat tranquilizer, up and up on that, until I finally start to come down (along with staying out of work and everything else to the extent possible, no stimulation).
The 'criteria' also helps to an extent, as far as duration. If I feel really down one day or really energetic (even if I'm not sure why), if I feel better the next day, then I know I'm not dealing with bipolar. If I'm feeling down, but then something really nice happens to me and then I'm better, it's all good, at least for me, I know that's not the bipolar doing this. I got down, sad, just like everyone else does, it sucks, but it happens (whether I'm sure why or not).
If I'm really hyper one day, and then I get home that night and am able to calm down because I'm zoning out in front of the TV or something, then I'm pretty sure it's not my bipolar. I was just a bit hyper, it happens, maybe I was overstimulated by something going on around me, or within myself, who knows.
Sometimes (usually it will be a weekend), I feel super productive and get tons of cleaning done and errands, etc. But if after a couple of days I'm basically my usual self I'm reasonably sure it's not the bipolar. I was happy, energetic, productive, it felt good, maybe it wasn't 100% rainbows, but nothing terrible came of it. It happens (wish it happened more often). So the whole time factor (how long it lasts) can help to distinguish them for me. Also, if the energy and productivity are not part of a whole cluster of other manic symptoms, I figure it's just an isolated and nice couple of days.
As I say, the therapy I've had over the last 4 years has helped me enormously with distinguishing what is what. Before then it was just a big muddle, I didn't know which way was up. I think some people think therapy isn't essential for those with bipolar for various reasons, but I think that it can be so helpful, if for no other reason than to distinguish between the things you mention.
I think being able to make those distinctions can lead to less worrying (am I in an episode?), perhaps less medication (if it's always an episode, it always needs to be medicated), and also help deal with and work through the psychological issues that can lead to non-bipolar-related moods/issues which medication just can't touch. I think therapy can also potentially help to normalize emotions/moods, when you get another perspective reminding you that a lot of people/people without bipolar feel like this sometimes too. It's something to learn from or cope with or enjoy like anyone else would.
This is what has worked for me, anyway. Though even with therapy, there are times I'm not sure what is going on, but at least after a while (sometimes longer than other times) I can usually figure it out, sometimes with help, or often on my own.
I hope this is helpful.
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