I have been depressed for most of my life. I am currently on medication and don't see myself going off them. I need them like I need food.
I have never gone to a proper therapist. I had some pretty unpleasant experiences with counselors but that was a long time ago. People here have very positive attitudes towards therapy and advocate for it. I think that if you didn't feel comfortable with your last therapist you should seek another one. I would imagine that finding a good fit for a therapist might take some time and change. I can imagine that it is a little scary to open up so much to someone. If you have the option I'd definitely try to find a therapist that you mesh well with.
I'm really sorry that things have been difficult for you. It's painful to feel alienated from the people we were close to. Are you sure you alienated your friend? Perhaps you just think you have done it. Paranoia is also a symptom of depression. I'd try to find out how that friend really feels. Then if things are OK you can maybe disclose a little of your situation at a time as she/he can digest it.
Guilt and shame are also big elements of depression and can suck all the life out of you. You have to forgive yourself for whatever happened and really think of the future and what you can do to improve your circumstances.
You can post here anytime and there will be people to listen and support you.
Good luck