I get the sense you're someone who needs, or wants to talk a lot. I dont really see a problem with that except that some people dont feel the same need. Its unlucky for you that it sounds like no one in your upbringing knew how to encourage or accept you for how you feel. Unfortunately, that does happen. You should stop looking to why people treat you like they do. You cant explain what everyone does or thinks, at best, you can only understand yourself. Look inside yourself and examine your motivations. Are they good and true? Is there something you needed to be filled and it still is unfilled? What is it? Is it a feeling of acceptance, or worth? Are you looking for others to validate you? It isnt necessary that others validate you to feel like you're a decent person but having that positive feedback is encouragement. You can encourage yourself if you know truthfully that who you are and what your intentions are, are positive things, for yourself and others. Ive heard you that you feel misunderstood and mistreated by others but I havent yet heard you say you want revenge. Thats a good thing. They say the sweetest revenge is living a good life and I believe that 100%.