I feel so numb. Overwhelmed numb. This string of days has led to weeks, and is now crossing the marker in months. Pdoc appt in about three more weeks. DBT tomorrow, it helps some, probably the only thing keeping me on this side of the deep in. SI has been minimal - impressive at this time, but the thoughts are at times unbearable. I don't know which way is up or forward or what the he// ever. Even the good days are bad now....I hate when I f up my life.