You say you are feeling confused about it hence the post. I have had the same confusion and my t says much the same as Rhiannon's about it demonstrating the amount of pain you are in. If you could talk about it I'm sure it'll help. I had a conversation very similar to that which you are describing and the things it bought up were really beneficial. She was also suprised about how strong my beliefs were about some things. Please try it if you can as even these confused is it attention or not feelings want to and deserved to be heard.