I feel like such an idiot. Had a meeting with my boss today about something work related and got so nervous and anxious about it that when I went in, I could barely talk, was stuttering lots and fiddling with my jumper and bracelet all the way through. I tried to stop but i noticed I was stuttering and that made me more nervous.

He asked me if any of my students had commented on my behaviour and told him I was just nervous in the meeting and getting myself worked up, and that none of my students had said anything, which isn't strictly true. But I just told the kids who asked what was wrong that I was fine and they needn't worry about it.

I am struggling to keep my nerves and anxiety under control when I am at work now. I don't know what to do. I have been very careful that no one at work has seen any of my cuts and other than my friend, no one would suspect I am doing it again I would think.

Fighting the urges tonight as I gave in so many times over the last two days and if I am not careful, my husband will really notice. I don't know how many more 'accidents' I can have without him being suspicious.

Sorry just can't seem to think straight at the moment and writing it down seems to help get my thoughts in some sort of order.