I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. I hopee you can find a way to deal with what you are feeling.

Can you take a break from your classes? It sounds like you need to sort out some issues and the current situation you are in is a daily reminder. It sounds like a tough situation and you should proud that you have been able to keep everything together this far. Sometimes we need help. It sounds like you really need some support right now.

Can you talk to your husband? Would he be helpful to you, or do you think it would make things worse? we.all need support and be aable to talk things out sometimes. I hope your counseling begin to help you soon. Keep posting if it helps.