You are the victim of your inability to forgive. Forgiveness does more for oneself than
it does for anyone else. Pray about it if you are a believer in a faith of some type.
Often, it seems to me it's the result of having too much conscience or too much guilt
handed to us when we were knee-high.

Now that you're an adult, take yourself in hand and tell yourself that you're only hurting yourself by not forgiving. Letting go of past hurts frees yourself. If you really want
to be free, then forgive and move on.

There's an interesting little paperback called "Forgiving and Moving On". I re-read parts
of it at times when I need a little lesson that day in forgiving. Frankly, I can't imagine
not forgiving. Can you imagine what kind of paralysis would result in us if we carried
all ours and others' mistakes in our hearts indefinitely? I don't even like to think about it.