I deeply want friends but i moved across the country last year and have yet to make meaningful connections in my new area. People are so rushed and busy and I am awkward socially (at least i think so, or i feel that way).

I had friends back home but they seem to have fallen to the wayside since the move. I am so lonely. I am so sad. I don't know how to make friends at this point. I am 38 years old and friendless. I don't just want the type of friends that you go shopping with or to coffee...i could care less about those things. I want a friends that i connect with deeply, that can speak with me at a level that can explore the big questions in life. Someone I feel is there no matter what.

I just feel like a misfit in this world. I am surrounded by well-intentioned people who seem to just care about making money and whats for dinner. I am not like that and it pains me not to have a connection with other people that is meaningful.

Whats worse is I have behaved like such an erratic ***** in the past, some of my previous friends have distanced themselves and I don't see the possibility of repair.

What would you say to yourself if you were me? How do you go about finding people to connect with? What do you do about feeling so awkward?