Okay, so, I haven't posted in awhile. Things got kind of bad and a little crazy for a bit. I also got kind of sick for awhile, so I wasn't able to do much of anything.

Anyways, I finished my first year of college thankfully and I finally got a new job. I will be quitting my bad one tomorrow, I'm just very concerned and nervous for this new one. They seem nice, and it's a bigger company... So I'm really hoping it works out. It's working in a deli, so if anyone's ever done that, any tips and things you could tell me would be great.

However, the reason I'm having a bit of a breakdown tonight is my usual "No one cares about me" and I feel lonely in the world... But it's got something new with it now.

Last night, my friend texted me and told me she was going to get a second job, then wanted to move into an apartment. She wants me to be her roommate.

I was immediately excited and I've been on a high about that all night last night and all day today. Talked with my mom about it too, and it's sounding incredibly doable.

However, I am now freaking out, because I'm realizing that I'm going to be going off on my own and separating from a mother who made me more than dependent on her. I'm scared I won't be able to handle being away from her and it's going to be scary handling it all on my own.

I know I can do it, it's just a scary thought.

I'm also concerned because my friend doesn't know I get into these kinds of moods where I get really upset. I always have my mom there to help me through it, I don't know what to do when I won't have her in the next room to talk to me.