Its good you feel like you have to be good. Its hard to always be good, at least it has been for me, but Im working on it. Its hard to be 'good' in a society that appears to reward 'bad'. You might feel like you're the only one who's ever felt this way but you arent. You're experiencing it now like others before you and you're pretty vocal about it. I see that as being better than doing something rebellious. I think you need to take a long look at who it is you're trying so hard to fit in with. Ive been around, I know the influences out there. It seems to me you've chosen the local 'pack' as someone to fit in with. They might seem like they're popular, they might seem like they have all the friends, they might seem like they're doing stuff all the time, and you dont want to be left out. You want them to accept you cause they're the 'cool' crowd. Am I way off track here?