Thanks to my ****ing stupid little fear of tornados, I threw a stupid tantrum and spammed my poor girlfriend with my ******* BS freaking out over some sirens and the fact that I have to be in the basement thanks to the tornado floating around. It's probably not even going to touch us but here I am sweating and crying and shaking like the animal I am. Like every time I throw this stupid little fit, I am currently experiencing self pity shame so severe it makes me want to beat/cut/bite myself and I will no longer allow myself to harass my girlfriend.

This happened just ****ing YESTERDAY too. I had to have an exam on certain reproductive parts and ended up sobbing hysterically when the doctor looked at and touched me and shaking like a kicked infant for a stupidly long period of time.

This is unacceptable, immature, shameful, and downright disgusting, but I really don't know how to stop. I just want to act like a civilized human and not the whiny little freak I am now. Short of suicide I'm not sure how I can be a better person and learn to shut up and act normal.