I'm at a loss. I think I want to leave my husband but really don't know where to begin. And I don't want to hurt him either. We've been together for 10 years now and I feel like if I just leave he'll never have seen it coming. Or maybe he would. If I just left I'd have to go home to my parents and leave my job and everything behind. This doesn't really bother me, it just seems like such a daunting task. And for some reason I really don't want to hurt him even though he hurts me all the time. We were talking about moving home to Canada where I'm from and have started the visa process. But when we do talk about it he always makes some backhanded comment like 'it's okay, when we're in Canada I just won't have the (insert frivolous thing here) that I want. It's all about what he wants and spending money with him and I'm so tired of squeezing every single penny while he goes out drinking after work every night. I know talking about this or meeting with a counselor is probably the first step but I'm not sure I want to do it. I never see him as it is and getting him to show up to a counseling appointment without complaining the whole way feels impossible. And I'm going to lose my little mind if he complains any more. Has anyone here left their spouse? How did you do it while minimizing damage? (if possible) And how do I keep myself from feeling like the worst person on the planet?