I'm so sorry that your feeling this way Bliv. It's a terrible feeling but you can get through this and there is a way. You've got to want to get out of it. In the beginning I wanted to get out of it but just didn't make the effort to do so. I probably just expected someone to wave their magic wand. Finally a few days ago I decided that I had to do something about it and that I was the only one responsable for the way I was feeling. I started reading a book which a bought a few years ago. It just helped me see things in a different way and with a different attitude. It's a bit like someone seeing a glass of water half empty or half full. It's all about being positive about ourselves instead of sitting there feeling sorry for ourselves.
I'm feeling a lot better by saying to myself that I can do this. Even if it's just for today I know I can do it. I haven't felt positive about myself in a long time but for the first time in a long time I'm beginning to re-surface. It's a bit like getting my head out of the water. I hope it's going to last. I've been through that so many times that sometimes I can't trust myself not to fall back into my old routine of sitting around feeling sorry for myself and thinking that my only best friend is food. Since I've stopped eating between meals I feel lighter and liberated from this prison that I was shutting myself into. I get more things done and I go out more often and last but not least is that I've regained confidence in myself. Just one thing though I have never been to see a T. I've always tried to deal with my problem alone. This time I hope it will be the last time I have confront it. I don't want to turn into an obese person. I know if I continue though I will become one and I don't want to ruin my health. I really hope that you will get well soon. Be positve.