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Confused213
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Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Elsewhere in America
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Default Jun 12, 2013 at 09:03 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by patchwork5 View Post
If I'm being confrontational then I apologize, but...why are you sure there's a problem here?

You came to masturbation early, but what exactly did that hurt? Despite what mum tells us, I'm pretty sure masturbation never hurt anyone (and if it did, that's probably a matter of wrong technique). How can that be bad or wrong? If masturbation currently makes you cry, then I'm sorry...but I still don't see how it follows from that that you "behaved really wrongly" as a child.

Speaking for myself, farm kid. "Where babies come from" is something that you understand intuitively about the time you learn to talk by looking at animals. Again, no dark secrets there. If you aren't a farm kid then I suppose I don't know, but again I wouldn't think that an early understanding of sex, including sex for pleasure, is bad or symptomatic of a problem.

In my purely personal and unprofessional opinion, sexual knowledge and behavior like that is widespread and normal in children. As adults, we prefer to deny that fact because 1)pedophilia is a Very Bad Thing, but 2) pretending that children are nonsexual somehow causes less cognitive dissonance in a lot of people than admitting that exploitative, power-imbalanced relationships are the Very Bad Things. Because really internalizing THAT idea might have profound ramifications as to how they lived their life.

Anyway, you sound very ashamed of your childhood sexuality, and all I can say is, there's no reason to be ashamed of it. Even if it was atypical, which I suspect it wasn't, it still wouldn't be wrong without the involvement of an adult, and then YOU wouldn't be the wrong part.
Thanks
I'm definitely not sure of anything happening to me as a child.
I just remembered the recurring nightmares I had of being molested when I was like four and to this day I have similar nightmares. I'm sure they weren't fantasies, or at least I hope not. That with the idea of a 5 year old engaging in cunnilingus freaked me out.

Perhaps nothing happened. Maybe I just don't want to accept the fact that I was a very sexual child. Being sexual is not something that I'm ashamed of. However, the way I acted on these desires (which I have not written and do not plan to write. It went beyond early masturbation) was quite dysfunctional and I would not encourage my behavior to anyone.

Thanks again

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Last edited by Confused213; Jun 12, 2013 at 09:05 PM.. Reason: Typo
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