I had a convention that I was committed to last week(guilt made me attend-except for a couple of Dr appointments I haven't left home since the end of Jan.) So I haven't posted here for almost 2 weeks. I could barely get though it, and ended up spending money I haven't got on a Spa massage. It was my first massage and I have to admit it was glorious I do understand now why people spend money on that. I made it to Tuesday when the pain got so bad I could hardly walk to the next presentation. So I took the rest of the day off got a massage & went to the art museum by boat. I couldn't do the museum though-walking was out of the question. That was so very disappointing the museum had tons of sculpture from ancient times, Egyptian, mesoamerican though Roman times & three-D art is my favorite.
The lectures were on 3 different floors w/ the elevators on the far side and all breakfast, lunch & dinners were serve yourself which got to be really hard on my back. But the food was fantastic-local grown & fresh w/ fish and vegetarian at every meal. It was mostly legal info on rights w/ a few lectures geared toward the mental illness rights. All in all I'm glad I went even if I couldn't move much. I really need to work on getting my car fixed so I can get to physical therapy. I also kept the rental car an extra day so I could shop and get some real food into the house. The I did request an interpreter for evenings and was able to participate in the after hours stuff and meet my peers from other states. I just wish I wasn't so apathetic so I could have done better. I've spent the weekend and last couple days just recuperating and using the TENS unit almost 24/7.
Mood wise I'm still apathetic, it took me until tonight just to unpack the lap top(that I left in the room safe the whole time as it was too heavy to carry around and by the time I returned to my room at the end of the day I was too tired and exhausted to pull it out). Although I just bought good food I'm back to eating junk because it requires no prep and my moods are definitely influenced by my nutritional choices.
I'm sorry I haven't been better at supporting people here, I don't know why that seems so hard right now. 
(((Whim))) Happy belated B-day. 
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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