It's really sad to read your story. You expressed yourself very well.
If you can get some help through your church or community please do it. Depression usually needs some kind of treatment to be manageable.
Perhaps the first thing you should try to do is secure your physical situation. You need to try to find safe shelter and get some training so you can be independent and not have to be victim to random people. If you need some temporary welfare then try to get it. You can pay back the community when you get strong again. You will be in a position to help others because of your experience.
We can't always control how people feel about us. It can help if you are cautious and go slowly into a friendship. It sounds like you are in a vulnerable position right now. You need to be careful of the people you let close to you. Watch for a while and see how they treat other people.
I'm just sorry that you are suffering. You are welcome here and here you will be safe.