Hello everybody. My name is Kyle. Lol I probably should have posted on here first but ooohhh well. Well I don't know exactly when I had my first manic episode. At 18 I was given zoloft for depression. I was good but had energy like crazy. Would work it for 3-5 hours a day. I eventually snapped on a guy that was screwing around on a girl I was dating and I tore his car apart trying to get to him. The latest which caused my family to finally fight to get me to go to the doctor was I quit my job. Moved 6 hours away to be with a girl I barely knew but was sure we would be together and everything was hunky dorey, she kicked me out when I started to lose touch with reality. My mom finally was able to get me. I was put on a ferry in a snow storm with just my dog, a few bags of my clothes, movies, and dog food. My mom said that I was definitely gone. Once again she thought it wasn't normal behavior. Me I just thought that everyone did stuff like that. Well now I have a clearer picture of what's happening. My doctor has me on Carbamazepine right now since my mother and I had to spend 3 hours telling this lady about everything. Pills don't seem to be working though. I do know I have pretty bad depression at times. Tried killing myself once and have cut a couple of times to see how much pressure you had to use to actually cut into your skin. Not with the effort lol. But hanging and gun seem to be my go to thoughts. Sorry I'm probably all over the place here lol. I'm currently in the racing thoughts, happy, starting to get weird kind of stage.