I'm of the opinion that you're too hard on yourself, Christina. I've done my share of beating up on myself and after a few times, you feel like you've been run over by an 18 wheeler. It's simply that I don't like to hear or read someone putting themselves down. No, I don't KNOW you in a personal way. Is anyone perfect? I'm sure not. You probably read some of my posts about my marriage. I know I'm the shmuck who married her and has stayed, yet in other areas of my life, I'm bright and insightful but with women...a HUGE blind spot. That's MY flaw and I need to deal with it or if we split up, stay away from relationships.

I'm in pain; from my untreatable bipolar, from a dysfunctional marriage, from writer's block, from dreams and adventures that might never happen, to my fear of being hospitalized for the rest of my life if I go off the rails, from the death of my friend. But I'm not going to run myself down. As Paul Robeson sang, in a revised version of 'Old Man River', "But I'll keep laughin' instead of cryin' and I'll keep fightin' until I'm dyin'." The world or family or others we meet might treat us like s**t but we shouldn't do that to ourselves.