I honestly am not beating myself up. I can state facts about myself and personality that aren't in proper working order according to everyone elses standard. Do I wish I had a herd of personal real life friends? Maybe or maybe not. I don't have them so how can you miss something you never had?
My T is always amazed at the way I can and will point out things in my life that are good or bad or lacking. I could look in the mirror daily and rave about my appearance , In the end its a lie, I don't need to convince myself of things I am not, just to somehow feel better or fit into a mold some joe blow formed and decided everyone should fit into.
This isn't the ravings of a depressed person.. It is just me, I guess I really do not fit in that mold . LOL