I have no idea if this would be something related to my anxiety or what.
I have been in my relationship for around 4 and a half years, and we are getting married in a few months. I am obviously am in love with him, haha.
Throughout this time, though, some days or just for a few hours, et cetera, I sometimes cannot deal with affection. I guess this goes for more than just physically, but that's mostly where it becomes a burden.

If he tries to kiss me, I recoil, inside feeling disgusted by the idea. Just the thought of our lips touching for a closed-mouth kiss disgusts and repulses me. Like, I can actually feel myself begin to snarl. Same thing happens if he tries to touch or hold my hand or put a hand on my back, for example. All of these normal things people do as partners as just daily effortless things become a big deal. I recoil, and it hurts him. He is the sensitive one in the relationship, so it compounds - I've talked to him about this and he gets it (it's happened our entire relationship, and with others before him), but he still gets this pathetic, dejected look on his face. Because of the mood I am in during these times, I have no empathy at all and feel like calling him out. I know this seems cold as I'm writing this, but I'm in one of those moods now.

He came home for lunch today, and on the way out back to work, he kissed me on the lips, and for me it was like trying to shove two of the same magnet together. I tried; it didn't work. He left, and since then I've literally tried wiping the kiss off of my lips, like kids do with "cooties."

Generally speaking, if someone told me what I am writing here without any background, I would first think they probably don't like the person as much as they say, or that they endured some kind of abuse before. Neither is the case for me.... I love my fiance dearly, and when I don't feel this strange mood, everything is better than "average." In fact, we are always mindful and agree that making sure we keep physical affection a top priority keeps a strong connection.

I have social anxiety that I recently discovered as something I've actually struggled with my whole life (on top of generalized), and it is worsening. Is this part of that? Does anyone else have this problem? It's not just that feeling of not being "in the mood," it is very poignant and a guttural feeling of total repulsion. I might as well be kissing someone I hate, is what it feels like.