I am not sure where you are from. I initially thought of India, once I read about the arranged marriage, but your English is not quite right (this is not a criticism - I am just trying to guess where you are from) for an Indian guy.

My suggestion to you is to radically change your approach to the "traditions" you have inherited from living in your country of origin. You have moved to the US for a reason, right? Do not drag those traditions with you - they are a curse rather than a blessing.

You will never know (get it - NEVER know, meaning, NOT EVER) whether your wife was forced into physical intimacy or was a willing participant, because you are not neutral, open-minded, and receptive when she talks to you about her past. In order to deserve somebody's honesty, you have to be a compassionate, neutral, and understanding listener, and you, I am sorry to say, are not a compassionate, neutral, and understanding listener - you are very judgmental. So she might have invented her story about being forced (which, believe me, is typical, and if all such stories get taken at face value, we would need to conclude that there is en epidemic of forcing young unmarried women of traditional backgrounds into physical relationships before they eagerly marry the candidate chosen by their parents - with or without any help from a professional matchmaker - with whom they talked to FOR A WHOLE ETERNITY - TWO FULL CALENDAR MONTHS!!!!!!!! before marriage) in order not to be judged.

What I would do if I were you:

- take an inventory of the "inheritance" you have received from your upbringing, evaluate each item from the standpoint of its value for you in the rest of your life, and bucket each item into either "keep" or "discard". If you like traditional foods, put them into "keep". Literature, music, etc. would probably go into "keep". That you have some sort of a right to judge your wife's "past" would probably go into "discard".

Finally, you need to realize that your prognosis for the rest of your marriage (which IS arranged - let us call a spade a spade) is already not that good. Do not make it yet worse by doing what you have been doing.