Dear T,

I also wanted to answer you more honestly when you asked me if there was something on my mind that I wanted to talk about tonight, but might be holding back...um, I should have found a way to tell you I am having Si all the time and that is really what brought me into t in the first place! How crazy is it that I haven't even really shared that with you. Sometimes it feels like its enough just to have my hour with you set aside every week to keep me grounded in this area. But where does that leave me when you inevitably send me away?

I am afraid to tell you because I can't risk being hospitalized. My family depends on me, T....I won't do anything because I'm a coward anyways. But I don't want you to overreact. And I definitely don't want to burden you with that either