Thanks. Its a little helpful to just be able to say something that someone else gets. Normally I'm up late at night, just pacing and thinking through what I might say to T about all this, and what the response might be. You can play that game to absolute death, and its really not so productive but when something is on your mind this way, it just is. I think my record for doing that is about 3 hours til 2:30am :/

Making a post and getting a reply is calming and fulfilling, even if its not therapy... Its therapeutic.

I know that I'm at the beginning part of my journey and I have many more questions than answers-- about a dozen pages of thoughts, thus far.

I'm not sure about being able to call yet. I shall see. I hope everything works out. Your helpful experience is very appreciated.