For me I grew up watching my dad go through multiple medications and deciding to go off of those medications. So I'm worried about ending up the way he was in that regard. Right now I'm kind of in a up mood but still kind of spacey and wanting to do things kind of place. A little while ago it was I couldn't hear one thought from another and was going pretty loopy. I've never gotten THAT bad that I'm aware of anyway. But I do find that when I take these pills I will be up for awhile mentally then spike waaay up and stay there for a few hours. This is my 3rd day (I think. I've been staying up until 6 am or not sleeping) and each time it's the same thing. I'm not sure if that's the pills or me. But I do want to get better just I feel ashamed of everything I have at the same time. I'd like to be normal and not go from this to that or have people not want to be around me at times. Sorry about the comment about flushing the pills. I was kind of just writing what I thought. Lol I guess venting. But I do feel like this pills aren't right for me. I only go to this clinic because it's the only one I can get to on the bus. Everything else I have no idea where they're at. But I have thought about checking myself into a mental health clinic. I'm just worried about the things I couldn't do if I was in one.