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Hi,
Just thought I would check your profile out as the advice you gave me was really good! This situation is a really hard one because a lot is at stake.
Why don’t you suggest a evening out like once a month just the two of you to spend quality time together not talking about any of the issues that are putting strain on your relationship just to remind you both why you are together. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive as I understand you need to save if you want the move. Maybe some alone time may do you both some good and may naturally make him want to make the changes for you!
Sometimes I feel like when you apply pressure men stress out and then in turn don’t feel encouraged to take the next step, however I do understand your frustrations as you should be able to talk to your husband about important things in life whether it is stressful or not.
To me it seems like he is spending a lot more time with his brother as he sees him as a way to get some breathing space, where he doesn’t have to discuss ‘stressful’ or ‘serious’ matters.
Maybe set a deadline in your head as to how long you are willing to put up with this as it really isn’t fair on you being as you have already lived in the US for 10 years so have clearly given up a lot. Mention to him one last time that you are willing to help and support with the paperwork so you can do things together.
If after a while he still makes no changes I say make your own plans and show him you are serious as this is your life as well as his! You probably have an amazing family that would appreciate you.
I must admit I have never been in a situation like this and don’t feel very experienced in advising people but just wanted to give my input. Hope this helps even if it is just a little.
By the way you dont deserve the mistreatment, you sound like a lovely lady and you deserve happiness!
xx
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